Why?
by TheFanFictionAlchemist
Summary: The gang are sent to their worst world yet... warnings: kuroxoc, kurofai, mpreg, ooc, mary-sues, parody fic
1. Chapter 1

**In Which Sakura's Naiveté is Actually Right**

**DISCLAIMER:** well, it wasn't mine last week...or the week before...

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Don't I have three stories I should be working on...why yes! I also have a life, and that, dear readers, has been taking up more of my spare time than usual lately. Sorry. Oh, and I am working on new chapters for my other fics…this just wanted to be written.

* * *

"Mage… oi mage!" Kurogane yelled while pounding on the bathroom door again, something that seemed to a recurring action in the mornings since they had come to this world. "Oi, you've been in there for fifteen minutes, what the hell are you doing?"

There was a bit of shuffling, followed by the door opening just a crack to reveal Fai's face. He looked exhausted, a weary smile plastered lazily across his face. "Oh, Kuro-puu was worried about me!"

"Was not bastard, I have to use the bathroom, are you done?"

"Of course..." a strange look passed over Fai's face, before he dashed back into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and yelling, "Just a minute, Kuro-chi!"

"Hey! Open this door!" Kurogane growled, banging the locked door again.

Just then one of the bedroom doors along the hall the bathroom was in creaked open. Syaoran, still in pajamas, stepped out. He spared only a glace at Kurogane, banging and hollering at the bathroom for Fai, as this sort of thing had become commonplace in the mornings.

"Morning, I'll go start breakfast. Try not to wake the princess," he muttered, knowing it would be pointless to tell Kurogane to stop making noise.

"Open this door!" Kurogane was screaming again.

"What's going on?" said a new voice, and Syaoran turned to see that Sakura had come out of her room, clutching the still sleeping Mokona like a stuffed bear.

"Good morning, Sakura-hime," Syaoran said instantly. "I was just about to start on breakfast."

"Thank you Syaoran! Um…" she hesitated, "is Fai-san sick again?"

"Ah, looks like it."

Sakura took a deep breath, as if preparing for an announcement, then said loudly, "I…I think I know what's going on with Fai-san."

Kurogane ceased his pummeling of the bathroom door a moment, "What."

"Well..." she said blushing, as all the attention in the room passed to her. "I was thinking about it last night, and I mean, Fai-san has been sick a lot in the mornings…"

"Yeah, well so what?" Kurogane snapped. Syaoran glared at him for being so rude to the princess.

"And he's been eating a lot of weird food, like that artichoke and peanut butter sandwich the other night. I think…I think…"

"Well?" Kurogane said, earning him another glare from Syaoran.

"Congratulations, Kurogane-san, I think you're going to be a father! I think Fai-san is pregnant!" Sakura chimed happily.

"WHAT!"

--

There was a bit of a commotion after Sakura's declaration. Kurogane passed out form shock after his shouting 'What.' Fai promptly came out of the bathroom when he heard the 'thump', and finding Kurogane on the floor was unable to hide his worry, instantly bending over the ninja and trying to shake him awake. Syaoran meanwhile, was trying to figure out why Sakura though that men could get pregnant (apparently, she had seen a television program about a woman getting pregnant, and naively assumed that since the symptoms matched Fai's, he must be as well) , and was awkwardly trying to explain why they could not. And Mokona, who'd been jostled awake, decided to call Yuko.

"Ahem," the Yuko in the projection on the wall cleared her throat, "You called, Mokona?"

"Yuko san! Fai-san is pregnant!" Mokona sang.

"That's wonderful news! Watanuki," Yuko turned to yell at someone just outside the projected circle, "Bring Sake to celebrate!"

"Wait, I'm what?" Fai gasped, having not heard Sakura's original declaration, since he was busy at the time being sick.

"Pregnant!" Mokona said.

"I assume that our young, strapping ninja is the father…yes?" Yuko asked.

"Oh," Fai said, trying to smile his usual smile, "You're joking right Yuko-san? Very funny!"

"No, from what I can see here, you're quite pregnant."

Fai looked around rather helplessly, smile fading "But…I'm a man. Surely this is a joke! How could I be pregnant?"

"Oh," Yuko grinned evilly, "I was waiting for you to ask."

* * *

**END NOTE:** Do not take this fic seriously! If you're taking it seriously, you're doing it wrong! This is a joke, this is a parody! All will be made clear next chapter! I repeat, do not take this seriously!


	2. Chapter 2

**ANYWHERE But Here!**

**DISLAIMER:** I own only a Mokona plushie.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Thanks for all the reviews! I wasn't even sure if this was any good!

* * *

"You um, you kids can go get breakfast if you like," Fai said, grinning. The children easily took the hint to leave the adults to talk to Yuko.

"You know, I'm actually surprised that it took you so long to figure out…I had thought you were a bright one, Fai," Yuko said once the children had made their way down the stairs.

"But…but…what...how?" Fai squeaked, his normally collected demeanor gone.

"Well, I'm getting to that, don't rush me!" Yuko chided him. She paused dramatically, "I'm also surprised that it took you so long to end up there, I had thought you were a bit more popular than that!"

"Huh…?" Kurogane suddenly moaned, shaking his head. He blinked, and realized that his head was being cradled in Fai's lap. "What the hell is going on!"

"Oh, surely you remember," Yuko said smugly, "Your little lover is pregnant."

"Pregnant," Kurogane muttered, dazed.

"Well, the both of you are so extremely coherent today, aren't you?"

"Coherent!" Fai gasped, "I've just been told I'm pregnant, even thought that's imposable."

"You," Kurogane all but growled, staring at Yuko with murderous intent, "What did you DO."

"Me," Yuko asked, acting as thought she were utterly scandalized by the suggestion, "Why, I haven't done anything! It was the author!"

"The what?" snarled Kurogane, standing up, leaving Fai sitting on the carpet in shock and approaching the projection, "You explain, right now!"

"But of course," Yuko smiled, unfazed, "it will cost you though."

"Now!" Kurogane shouted.

"Very well, I'll tell you everything you need to know, if you agree to do me a little favor."

"NO!" the ninja said.

"Very well, I hope the author planned it out well."

"Planned?" Fai asked.

"I just mean that I hope she came up with a way for you to give birth, since men aren't designed to. Otherwise this might end badly," the witch answered.

"Give birth..."

"Best of luck!" Yuko said, turning away from the projection.

"Wait," Kurogane said, "We'll do it, whatever you want."

"Very good," the witch smiled, "Now, here's the deal. I'll tell you what you need to do, then I can come back for my price whenever I like!"

'Fine, just tell us what to do," Kurogane answered.

""First, where you are," Yuko began, "You are, I believe in what is sometimes called a fan fiction, mpreg variety. That's not very luck, but I'd just be glad you didn't end up in a sue fic. You know, the spelling in this one seems unusually good. Little short on logic, but…"

"What are you talking about?" Kurogane demanded.

"You're in a story, dear. A story, and that's why he's pregnant. I won't bother to try and explain about manga, or CLAMP, or why anyone would write about you...you probably wouldn't understand, after all."

"So, can't we just leave here?" Kurogane asked.

"Hmm...Not sure just what that would fix. I don't know if that'd stop him from being pregnant. No, I think the best thing you could do, is talk to the author."

"The author, and how do we find the author?"

"I'm afraid I can't help you much with that. You'll just have to figure it out on your own…unless, you want to pay for the information?"

"NO!"

"Alright, I'll leave you to it then. Ta, ta!"

With that the projection closed leaving Fai, Kurogane and Mokona alone in the hallway.

"Are you ok, Fai?" Mokona asked, hoping toward the magician.

"I'm fine Mokona, of course!" Fai answered with a smile.

"Hey," Kurogane said, offering his hand to help Fai up, "We'll find a way to fix this. I swear."


	3. Chapter 3

**In Which Is Wrong **

**(For Once)**

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine!

* * *

Fai had become basically useless- more useless that usual, Kurogane would say- since the news about his condition. Of course, the ninja seemed equally as shocked, even allowing Fai to cling to him without threatening to kill him. That was, in fact, the position they currently could be found in, seated on the loveseat of their rented home, Fai leaning on Kurogane's arm. The mages eyes were slightly unfocused.

"So, what did Yuko say?" Syaoran asked, trying to be gentle about it. He and Sakura were standing at the living room door, watching the two adults.

"Hmm?" Fai muttered, noticing the children for the first time. His face quickly broke into a wide, false grin, "Oh, I'm pregnant, apparently! Yuko-san says we need to find the author."

"The author? Uh, Fai-san...are you ok," Syaoran said, looking worried.

"I'm fine!"

"You're not FINE," Kurogane said, "don't lie."

"Well," Fai said cheerfully, "I'm not prefect, but it's nothing to worry about!"

"Shut up!" the ninja yelled, "It is definitely something to worry about!"

"Why does Kuro-mi care so much…hmm? It's my problem," the wizard said, trying to be teasing about it.

"It's my problem too."

After Kurogane words, the room lapsed into an awkward silence.

"So," Syaoran began again, "what do we have to do?"

"Hell if I know," the ninja mumbled.

"Mokona knows!" the creature chirped, "Yuko said that we're in a story!"

"A story? Like a fairy-tale? With a prince and a princess, and dragons, and evil witches?" Sakura said excitedly.

"Mokona doesn't think so. It's called 'Fan-Fiction', people write them about characters they like. And the author made Fai pregnant! It's called 'mpreg'," the rabbit like creature nodded gravely, as if he were imparting some secret knowledge. "Yuko said that if we find the author, they can make Fai not-pregnant."

"How do we do that?"

--

"How the hell did I get stuck searching with you?" Kurogane growled at Mokona, who was wiggling around energetically in his coat, "Stop it!"

"Because," Mokona said, sticking her head out of Kurogane's collar, "you usually go with Fai, but daddy wasn't careful, and he got mommy pregnant, so she had to stay home."

"Shut up, and stop talking," the ninja said.

"You asked a question! Besides, daddy should learn to use protection," Mokona continued, "Yuko says you should always have an extra co…"

"Shut up!" Kurogane yelled. A woman nearby on the sidewalk stopped to stare at the man who seemed to having an argument with his buttoned coat. "What the hell are you looking at?" he demanded.

"Daddy and Mommy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I..."

"Will you shut up!" Kurogane screamed. He made a grab for the lump in his jacket that was Mokona. Mokona however evaded him, slipping out from the bottom of his coat and hopping quickly away.

"Ah! Daddy is chasing me! Help!"

"You just feel lucky I don't have my sword, you stupid pork bun!" Kurogane yelled as he pursued her.

Something entirely dramatic happened next; something Kurogane would swear in retrospect seemed like merely a highly contrived way to introduce a new character. Mokona darted into the road, with the ninja following, a car just barely missing her. It did not, however, miss Kurogane.

--

"Everyone, everyone, please step back!" A voice boomed. "I'm a doctor. Please, stay calm, everyone!"

"Sir, sir!" the voice continued, now quite close to Kurogane's face. "Are you allright?"

Kurogane opened his eyes and found a girl leaning over him. She looked about sixteen, and had purple eyes, and long pink hair. Her body was shapely but skinny, her skin a perfect bronzed tan. "Who the hell are you?"

"I'm Ambr Luna Starfire Moonbeam. I'm a doctor," she said, smiling a smile that might make Fai envious, revealing perfect teeth.

"You're a teenager!" Kurogane said.

"They make exeptions at Harvard law, if yu have an IQ of 167." She said. "Now sir, do you no were you are?"

Kurogane thought about it, he really did, before he honestly answered, "Hell."

"O no! he isn't coherent! I'm gonna call an ambulance!" screamed Amber Luna Starfire Moonbeam, in a beautiful clear voice.


	4. Chapter 4

**In Which Kurogane Has The Misfortune Of Meeting **

**His True Love **

**DICLAIMER:** I own only Amber Luna Starfire Moonbeam, and Fai's impossible fetus.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Well hi there! You know, this story is a lot of fun to write. But honestly, Amber is kind of tuff, I mean my spell check keeps auto-correcting the misspellings. Which only confuses me more about the grammar in real sue fics.

* * *

"I'm not going to the hospital with you," Kurogane said, shoving the deformed looking girl away and starting to get up. He groaned as his body protested, but really he'd been through worse and still walked afterwards as a ninja than being hit by a car.

"Sir, you should wait for the Prametecs to arrive!" Ambr shouted at him.

"Fuck off!" Kurogane yelled at her, as he began to limp away.

"Sir, you should at least alow me check and see if yu were injured," Ambr said, quickly catching up to him and grabbing hold of his arm.

Kurogane turned his head to glare at her, "Go away."

A rather dreamy looked passed over the girls face, "You know, you have beautiful eyes." She said.

Kurogane shoved her away, "Creep."

"And your so tall, and tan, and muscular…" the girl continued. Kurogane simply ignored her. Now, where the hell did Mokona go? He wondered.

"Oi, pork bun!" he called. Where would she have gone? "I swear I won't kill you."

"KUROGANE-SAN!" cried a voice. Kurogane turned to see Sakura and Syaoran, with the pork bun ridding on Syaoran's shoulder. "Oh, Kurogane-san, are you alright?" The princess continued, "Mokona said you were hit by one of those car things."

"I'm fine," he grunted.

"He is not fine!"Ambr said, "He refuse medical atention, and will not go to the hospital!"

"Who are you?" Syaoran asked, trying to sound polite.

"Oh!" the girl cried, suddenly striking a pose, "My name is Ambre Luna Starfire Moonbeam! I'm sixteen years old, my blood type is A-, I'm a scorpio and I'm a doctor." She said.

"Sixteen?" Syaoran asked.

"Yes, yu see, after the deaths of my parents when I was only 3 yers old from the plage, I was taken in by my Horrible Uncle, who raped me constantly. But all thru it I held onto my dream of becoming a doctor so that I cold stop othr people from dying like my parents did! Sso I applied to Harverd Law and they accepted me, due to my amazing IQ of 167!"

"That's awful!" Sakura cried, "Don't you think so, Syaoran-kun?"

"That's really…nice, I mean terrible," Syaoran said, startled by the sudden exposition. "Well, it was very nice to meet you, but we really should be getting back home now. Goodbye."

"Wait, but I never checked to see if your friend was allright!"

"I'm fine!" Kurogane said, very aware that no one was actually listening to him.

"She's only being nice," Sakura said, completely missing out on anything odd about Amber. "And she's a doctor, maybe she could help with Fai-san."

"I don't think tha…"

"That's a graet idea!" Amber cried. "I'll follow you home, and make sure he's allright, and then check on Fai-san."

"You don't even know who the hell we're talking about!" Kurogane said. But no one was listening to him again.

--

Amber made a point to follow very closely behind Kurogane, all the while smiling dreamily. When the other's tried to begin conversations with her, she kept redirecting them to how strong, how amazing, how gorgeous Kurogane was. Eventually, even Sakura gave up.

When they reached the house, Amber insisted on being left alone with Kurogane…for his check up, of course. Syaoran was reluctant to leave, but even more reluctant to displease Sakura, who was still under the delusion that Amber was merely helpful. So, they let her have her way.

"You touch me, and I'll take your head off," the ninja growled.

"Good, I like it a litlle rough," Amber answered, leaning close to him.

Kurogane practically threw her across the room them, but she was apparently unaffected. She simply launched herself at him again, crying out, "Oh, Kurogane, tell me you're heart longs for mine as much as mine long for yours!"

Of course, luck, and the contrivances of the author, would have it that that was the exact moment the pregnant and highly emotional Fai decided to come into the living room. "K-Kuro-rin?" he gasped.

"Fuck," was all Kurogane managed to say, as he was momentarily rendered immobile from the shock of the girl now clinging to him and Fai at the door.

"You…you don't love me anymore!" Fai wailed as he suddenly ran from the room.

"It's allright,"Amber said, "You don't need him anymore."

"You," Kurogane said, standing and hefting Amber up with him, holding her at arms length, "You get the hell out of this house, before I kill you."


	5. Chapter 5

…**The Beginning of the End**

**DISCLAIMER:** I own my 'awesome' oc Amber Luna Starfire Moonbean, (or whatever the hell her name is…) the sixteen year-old doctor!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:** Sorry this took so long!

* * *

"So…s-s-so, you mean, you mean," Fai's eyes filled with tears, "we're out of pickles!

"Yes, we're out of pickle Fai," Kurogane sighed, clenching a fist. He'd had to deal with this crap for a month now, and it wasn't getting any less annoying. And no luck searching for the 'author' yet.

Fai suddenly launched himself across the kitchen and grabbed Kurogane into a tight hug. "I-I'm sorry! I just…I really wanted some. I'm just, I, it's just, I sorry!"

The ninja gritted his teeth. Before this was over, he was going to end up killing someone. He was trying very hard to make sure that person was not Fai.

"You so nice to me all the time, Kuro-mi, and I know you don't have to put up with me, I mean, I'm sorry for acting like this1!"

Yes, whoever this author bitch was, she was going to die. "Do you want me to go buy you some dammed pickles at the storey, Fai?"

"You would do that?" Fai pulled back and looked ridiculously shocked and grateful. "Oh, thank you, thank you, and thank you!"

DIE. The author was going to die painfully.

"Are u going somepla ce, Korugane?"Ambre Luna Starefire Moonebeam asked, as she walked into the kitchen quickly, looking at Kurogane as she walked in. 

OH, kUROMUU WAS JUST GOING TO GET ME SOME PICLES, aMBER." FAi said.

"Oh, I can go with u, Kutogane!" Amber volunteered.

"NO," Kurogane snarled. He didn't understand why Fai and Sakura inexplicably loved this Amber, and would not hear of putting her out on the street, after she made claims of being homeless. A homeless doctor.

"Come _on, Kuro-pii, let her go with you please?" Fai begged. _

_"No way in hell!" Kurogane growled. "That bitch keeps saying that she's in l_ove with me!"

"Tha's, ridiclose, Kurogane!" Why would I ever say that, whe you belong to Fai! I m hurt!" Amber said. "I do not think I want to go weith yiou when you go to git Fai pickles at the store down the street anymore!"

"Good, no one want you there," Kurogane said.

Amber glaired as she left the room. She played like she loved Fai to his face, but she always made her real feelings clear in private. As she left the room she caught Kurogane's eye, behind Fai's back and blew a kiss at him. Fai turned, and she cheerfully waved ta him.

--

"Oi, I've got pickles!" Kurogane called as he reentered the house. "Idiot, I got your stupid pickles!" he yelled again, surprised that Fai hadn't attacked him at the door, "Mage?"

A breathless Syaoran suddenly appeared in the hallway in front of him.

"Kurogane –san?" he said, "Oh, thank you!"

"What the hell is going on?" Kurogane said. A sudden, horrible thought struck him, "Is F…the dumbass ok?"

"It's ah…it's not Fai,' Syaoran whispers, "It's Princess Sakura."

There is a sudden, ear spitting, hair raising-ly height pitched shriek, "NONE of this would ever happen, if you idiots would all just do as I told you! I'm the princess! We do things my way!"


	6. Chapter 6

**It'll Cost You…**

**DISCLAIMER: **Im not the preson who own Tsubasa.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: **Ah…that was a long wait, ne? Sorry!

"Really?" Yuko said a dangerous looking glint in her projected eye, "Amber Luna Starfire Moonbeam?"

"Yes, that is my nasme" Ambre preened, loving the chance to be the center of attention. "I sixteen, and I am a Doctor."

"Really!" Yuko gasped, "And are you an orphan?"

"Oh, yes," Amber cried, "my Prernts died in a terrible accident! A fire, that I was the only surviver of.!"

"You said there was a plague!" Kurogane roared. He was now regretting his decision to call Yuko, one he'd reached after coming home to find Sakura acting so very…un-Sakura-like. (Apparently, she'd freaked when Syaoran asked if he could change the TV channel.) But of course, Yuko had made friends with the…_thing, _and was completely ignoring their problems with homicidal princesses.

"But that was when I become homeless, living on the streets, straving. It was fine thought, because then I became the yongest person ever 2 graduate from the Yale Mathematics department as a Doctor."

"How awful!" Yuko cried.

"That's not the point! The point is that the princess is suddenly issuing death threats!" Kurogane growled in exasperation.

The projected Yuko laughed, "Death threats? Oh! My, that's really bad isn't it?"

"Oh, yes! I surspected psicological damage"!!!1111!!1 Ambere cried!!

"Shut up!" Kurogane snapped. "I'm going to murder you, if you say one more word!"

"I can see this situation has escalated rather quickly!" Yuko chuckled, "One of the best examples of a Mary Sue I've ever seen, and some horrid out of character by the princess. Where are Syaoran and Sakura, anyway?"

"Sakura fainted after she started yelling, and now Syaoran is keeping watch over her room," Mokona chimed.

"Hmm…well, he seems fairly unaffected as of now. Still stalker obsessed," Yuko muttered, "I'm very sorry, Kurogane, but you seem to have fallen into a Mary Sue fan fiction, complete with m-preg and ooc."

"You don't sound sorry, bitch."

"U shold not use tha5t langage around Yuko!" Ambwer yelled, "It's very impulight!"

Yuko, to the shock of everyone in the room, burst out laughing, "Oh, wow, you are a rare thing, aren't you? Perfect Mary Sue!"

"My name is not Mary Sue, it's Amber Luma Statfire Moonbean!" cried Aamber Luna Sratfire Moonbeme.

"Oh, no, no, no, sweetheart," Yuko said, is an overly sweet voice, "That's a title; it just means that you're absolutely perfect in every way! Well, except for grammar and consistent back story, but that's highly entertaining, isn't it?"

Amber Lunua Sarsfire Mooneem looked vry smug.

"Are you actually going to help us with the princess, or are you just here to tell my stalker how great she is," Kurogane said.

"Fine," the witch muttered, "but, the information will coast you…shall I put it on your tab?"

Part of Kurogane thought that he should be wary of Yuko's sudden policy change to buy now, pay latter. But, he was desperate. "Fine."

"Great, to fix Sakura, and Fai, and get rid of your dear friends Amber/Aamber/Ambre here, you have to find the story author. Now, since you're willing to pay, I'll give you something else too…

"…"

The projection disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

**In Ambre Luma Statovarious Moondean is **

**Somehow Smarter Than Everyone Else...**

**A.N- That Yale math/Harvard law medical degree comes in handy for once!**

Everything you ever needed to know about this fic!

It took them a while to figure out what the word '' meant, and how exactly Yuko intended it as some sort of hint toward the location of this 'author' person. It wasn't until Syaoran, Fai and Kurogane had been discussing it in the kitchen nest morning (Sakura had stomped off to her room again and was refusing to come out, after giving Fai a death threat for eating the rest of the fruit loops) and AMber Lune Satrfir Moonbeen had walked in on them, that they had decoded the enigmatic message.

"Could be a name," Syaoran had been saying.

"You know anybody named 'fanfictiondotnet'?" Kurogane growled, "You'd have to be either retarded or just plain cruel to name your kid that!"

"What sort of names does Kuro-chan like?" Fai abruptly questioned, as he munched potato chips dipped in a tub of chocolate frosting.

"Why does it matter?" Kurogane asked.

Fai ate another chip, then gave a little laugh. He looked oddly dejected when he finally answered, grinning "It doesn't."

There had been a somewhat awkward silence then, disrupted only by the sound of Fai chewing on his last frosting covered chip. Kurogane found himself staring at the blond, he was pretty, but sometimes, that man made no sense!

"Umm..." Syaoran hesitantly began, "Could be an address?"

"An _address _with no _numbers_ in it?"

"Kuro-san! Be nice, he's trying!" Fai scolded.

Kurogane grumbled something disagreeable as an answer.

"'Fanfictiondotnet, it could be..." Syaoran had begun once more...

That had of course been when there own dear 'May Sue' had decided to make an appearance.

"FANFICSHENNET!! I no wwat that ix]s!" Amebr Luma Starfir Moobeam shouted!!!11

"Really?" Kurogane said, finding it jard to believe that she knew amy such tihng.

"YES, thaT IS A websight 4 ppl who rught stories about oter peolpes stories n styuff! Ander Luner Starfier Moonbaem said flirtily.

"Waht's a 'websight'?" Shyran askj=ed?

"It is sumthing on the interwebs, **on the computer." Amber roared, **

**"G**reat, thankyou!" Kyurogane cowered.

"You r welcom, I luv u!" Amvber answered.

"That's gud. Go away." kurogane sauid.!

"Kur-pu, don;e be mena to her"!! Fai scolded?

"I will help u find a computre, hten you will reealize that you are relly, relly, in lobe wit me, and not Fai!!1111!:

"What?" Fai gapsed.

"I wuz just kidding Fai LOL !"Amber saids.

**But** Ambre," Syaroan cut in, "I have sum...sumthing I need you to do,."

"Zrelly?" Amber asked?

"U,..., yeah." Syaoran said, "I need u 2 go 2 the hardware store, nd buy some...sum, ah..."

"Glue," Kurogane finished.

"Allrite!" Amber saud, grinning,"I wil get the gkue, an then yo will lvoe me

!"

That said, Amber Luna Starfire Moonbeam pranced sexily out of the room.

This of course, left them with another dilemma, where to get a computer. Neither Syaoran, Kurogane nor Fai seemed to know where one could be found, Sakura cursed at them when they asked her, and Mokona broke into a fit of unexplained giggles at the mention of then going to . The pork bun had been equally unhelpful when Kurogane had asked what was in the first place, claiming Yuko had made him promise not to tell this time. Mokona seemed delighted to be so difficult with Kurogane, and it took Fai asking nicely to get what little information they did.

Apparently, computers could be found at the library.


	8. Chapter 8

**In Which Kurogane Learns More Than He Ever **

**Wanted To About Fanficiton**

**And Fai **

**Discovers Dog Breeding **

**A.N.- The last bit wrote itself. Surprised me as much as Kuro-pin. Also? Pure Magic is a real fic, by the brill ominous-shadows on . Read it! I can get you a linky, if you like...**

"Look, Kuro-pi! I found a great book!"

Kurogane found a copy of 'Dog Breeds of the World' shoved in front of his face.

"I think you're an Irish Wolf Hound, Kuro-min!" Fai babbled, flipping the pages, "See, here's a picture..."

"Will you go away so I can try and find our story?" Kurogane growled.

"OK...I didn't realize that Kuro-pon liked them sooo much!"

"Shut up!" Kurogane whispered vehemently.

Fai pouted, placed his book on the pile to be checked out, and wandered off, probably to find another dog book. So far, they had 'Dog Grooming For Idiots,' 'Easy Tricks to Teach Your Puppy,' and of course, 'Dog Breeds of the World.' Kurogane shuddered to think what else they'd end up with.

It had been against his better judgment to let Fai come along, but the blond had insisted, and he had to leave quickly, so Amber didn't try to follow. Now Fai was prancing around the library refusing to be helpful, while Kurogane hopped no one noticed the bump on his stomach, and searched on the Internet.

So far, it had been hell. If he had to read one more story about he and Fai making out, falling in love, and him using stupid, flowery words, he wasn't sure what he'd do!

He clicked on 'Pure Magic' by someone called 'Ominous-Shadows', and started readinbg one of the chapters:

_ "GET OVER HERE YOU LITTLE IDIOT!" He screeched, losing patience._

_A giggle was his only reply as the blond head once again disappeared behind the car._

_Kurogane decided to try his luck and raced around the car, coming to a stop once he was able to see the other side. Fai was no where to be seen, at least until he caught site of a foot sliding underneath the belly of the car. With a smirk, Kurogane knelt down and reached an arm underneath, fisting his fingers in whatever material he could find and pulled. The blond slid out instantly, hands going up to cover his face in an automatic defense._

_"Got you." Was the victorious saying that left his mouth._

_Fai reached underneath himself and Kurogane let him, believing that perhaps a rock was digging painfully into his back, but instead, a sponge was pulled out, in all its pink glory._

_With a splat it was clinging to his face, showering him with water and sud bubbles. Fai chose this moment to escape to the other side of the car, his original starting position before the chaos. Kurogane grabbed the sponge from his face and chucked it at the blond, pleading with all the great forces of the universe for it to hit that goofy, grinning face._

What the fuck were these people thinking? Why would he ever act like that?

And all the stories about the mage pregnant! Even the really scary one about himself pregnant...

How were they ever going to find the particular one they were in?

He clicked on 'Sweet Dreams,' no, that's a collection of short stories. 'My Angel,' nope, dumb story about some girl falling in love with Fai. Not 'How i met teh Tsubasa gang' either, that's another dumb story about some girl falling in love with Fai. 'Why,' a story about Fai being pregnant...

WITH AN ORIGIONAL CHARACTER NAMED AMBER LUNA STARFIRE MOONBEAM!

He'd found it! He'd actually found it! 'Why' by 'thefamficitonalchemist'!

Now they only had to find this 'fanficitonalchemist' person

"Hey Kuro-myu," Fai sang, approaching.

"WHAT! What is it!"

"Kuro-nom, I was thinking...."

"_Great,_" Kurogane mumbled. Fai thinking usually had odd results.

"And uh..." Fai begaonb, trembling slightly, "do you think it's such a _bad _thing, me being pregnant...I mean, I'm kind of getting used to the idea...

"Are you OK Kuro-tan?

"Kuro!"


End file.
